CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED... WOOT WOOT!

Well, I'm knocking the hell out of all the wood that's within my reach hoping that by simply saying "CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED" that I haven't jinxed myself and allowed this to be the only chapter I will ever complete. Though I do this dreadful feeling, a panic perhaps, thats bubbling up inside me saying 'I won't ever come close to finishing it or finish anything I set my mind off too from now on'. I hate that. I really do. It just seems so hard to put a complex set of storyboard thoughts into words. Of course as I'm typing this, my fingers are just flying away across my keyboard since I'm writing from myself and not writing for character. How do all my favorite author's and authoresses do it? Its why I will never put myself up there with all my favorite writers since I know that nobody can be like them. I can only be as good as allow myself to be if I just give myself a damn chance. I'm trying, honestly I am. Just not easy with the weird life I led, constantly being told I can't do this, I can't look like that. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not smart enough. I just don't have the right stuff, the right leads, right contacts.... the RIGHT ANYTHING. Its amazing what you have to have to get anywhere or get anything in this world. Almost makes you wanna question why living is such a big deal! Society sure does know how to make downers out of its citizens!