CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED... WOOT WOOT!

Well, I'm knocking the hell out of all the wood that's within my reach hoping that by simply saying "CHAPTER ONE COMPLETED" that I haven't jinxed myself and allowed this to be the only chapter I will ever complete. Though I do this dreadful feeling, a panic perhaps, thats bubbling up inside me saying 'I won't ever come close to finishing it or finish anything I set my mind off too from now on'. I hate that. I really do. It just seems so hard to put a complex set of storyboard thoughts into words. Of course as I'm typing this, my fingers are just flying away across my keyboard since I'm writing from myself and not writing for character. How do all my favorite author's and authoresses do it? Its why I will never put myself up there with all my favorite writers since I know that nobody can be like them. I can only be as good as allow myself to be if I just give myself a damn chance. I'm trying, honestly I am. Just not easy with the weird life I led, constantly being told I can't do this, I can't look like that. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not skinny enough. I'm not smart enough. I just don't have the right stuff, the right leads, right contacts.... the RIGHT ANYTHING. Its amazing what you have to have to get anywhere or get anything in this world. Almost makes you wanna question why living is such a big deal! Society sure does know how to make downers out of its citizens!

I'm working on it... Honest!

Damn, I sound and act like a freaking anti-social sometimes. I don't mean too. I'm serious about writing and anyone who knows me knows that I'm also serious about reading books. They are, after all, what I'm trying and hoping to make my blog all about. It's about all I want to talk about these days. But the heat from summers just take so much out of me. I simply don't tolerate it well. You see, I live with epilepsy [Visit http://www.epilepsy.org for more info on the neurological disorder that plagues millions around the world]. For me, my seizure triggers are heat and stress. Heat in both body temp (fevers no good, bad evil little demons they are) and environmental surroundings contribute to the easy to set-off trigger... TRIGGER HAPPY SEIZURE MAKER... And since we're dealing with the brain and basically the self-electrocution of itself (it's simplest way to describe epilepsy), it messes with the emotions and hormones, so epilepsy in women are far more severe. So emotional issues, stress in other words, unfortunately just come with the seizure territory... It often can't be avoided. You'd be surprised the amount of young people in therapy groups who have depression or stress disorders are in fact suffering from epilepsy as well.

But despite all this, I am trying my best. I do have my support team of friends and most importantly, family. In the writing world, I am being pushed (nicely, constructively) by my friend and fellow storyteller, W. Andrew Mullin. So keeping all fingers, toes, and eyes crossed!

Keeping faith in myself. Even if most of the outside world doesn't.

Off-Topic: I've been reading loads of books lately, which best explains why I'm not getting much writing done. But I feel it is my duty to suggest a few damn good books.

 

First off:

The Scourge by A. G. Henley ... Oh, goodness, it's damn-damn, double damn-damn good book. It's post-apocalyptic story though you don't feel your reading a book based in the future. You are simply reading a book about survivors and their way of working around their fears. You will fall in love with the characters. And you will enjoy it. I guarantee you that! Please read it.

 

Easy by Tammera Webber ... This is pretty good. The dialogue is catchy and funny. And extremely intellilectual. This book, with its characters backgrounds and knowledge, required someone who could do more than just write a book about a girl meeting boy and falling in love. Its a little steamy so if you are a prude-minded person, this book might not be the one for you.

 

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